18 May 2011

Avacado trains in America

I would like to welcome one and all to my first 'dream diary' post since the reboot of this blog. Now this dream was a few nights back. I may not remember all of it though I am surprise I'm able to remember some of it since I usually forget my dreams seconds after taking my first spoonful of crunchy nut cereal in the morning.

Now, I do recall being in America although I don't know why or what I did. I remember being in a train station which had large waiting rooms, much like an airport. In fact, the train was to take me back to England. Exactly like an airport but instead of planes there we odd futuristic trains which looked like avocados.

I was waiting in the waiting room. I was looking at the time tables. I remember vividly it looking like it being the size of the whole waiting room and the font size used to display the times were so small. Who's bright idea was that?

I remember hearing a train arrive so I went onto the platform which looked like what I can only describe to you as what the "tunnels" inside a lift would look like. It was all dark and mentally. Quite small as well. Two holes either side for the avocado train to pass through, like the tube minus the avocados passing through.

The platform lit up from the light inside of the avocado. I got. It looked like a normal tube train really but a bit more roomy. I remember talking to myself out loud about my route. I had to get off at Big Station because that was the best name for an importance train station I could think of. Anyway, I had to get off at Big Station and take the train to London. Presumably Big Station is still in America.

As I spoke out-loud I notice the people opposite me were sniggering at me. I glared at them. "What's so funny turnips? I do like a joke." I said trying to scare them. I probably didn't by calling them turnips. In my dreams, suffering to something as a vegetable probably was just like calling them a 'knobhead' or 'fucking cunt'. Now that I think about it, I've been insulting the American avacado-looking trains throughout this whole blog post. Many apologies.

"Dude are you British or retard?" said the one wearing nothing but a pair of green shorts and a black vest. I stood up and leaned on the pole in front of me. "har har, you must be a comedian" I said as the whole carriage turned in laughter. The gentlemen sitting aside him wearing a blue hoodie said I was funny and demanded for me to say more funny things when the train stopped at Big Station.

I got off and found the waiting room which looked like the inside of a Church. I bumped into quite a few people I know including James Price, Ben Paessler, Nick Hillier, his older brother, Mrs Cullis (my English teacher) and Lauren Smith. James, Ben, Nick and his brother I all know through school. Considering this and the fact my English teacher were there I assumed it was a school trip but Lauren is someone I know from the internet so this whole scenario makes no fucking sense.

I sat down next to them underneath a large old fountain. As I said it looked like the inside of a Church. Very gothic, I recall looking up and seeing gargoyles above the platform entrance. Mrs Cullis went on one of her delightful and interesting rants about the architecture just like in one of her lessons. Lauren passed me a coke. Neglecting to ask her why she was in America with people from my school, I asked "Do you have any water instead?". She shook her head and laughed as if she just heard the funniest thing in her life.

I opened my bag and inside were Toy Story toys. Woody, Buzz, Slinky, Rex and Hamm. Everyone grabbed one and began to play with them when the train arrived. Everyone got on board with my toys. A second before I stepped on the door shut sharply and just as fast the train left the platform. Within the fraction of second, I was left alone in the middle of Big Station America. Oh bugger.

I thought very calmly. "Okay, I have to get on the very next train and get off at London. Then I can try to find them and get my toys back." and I thought and when the next train came I got on. It was completely empty.

The carriage had my toys scattered along the floor. I picked them up and imagined vividly everyone playing with them. Buzz was missing his arm and Woody was missing his hat. I found Buzz's arm and put him carefully into my bag thinking "Oh no, I'll fix you when I get to London."

I began to panic as I could find Woody's hat. I thought "Fucking hell. I'll buy on ebay when I get home."

I got the London Waterloo station but it didn't look like London Waterloo when I got off the avacado. It looked like Victorian times. Everyone was wearing top hats and waistcoats and of course... this is the part where I awoke and thought "I'm going to Blog this. Oh wait, I have school. I'll do it later." and so I have.

If you made it to the end of this, well done. You have achieved nothing.

15 May 2011

Hello again!

Hello one and all! This morning I decided to start afresh on BlogTV. I started this blog back when I was 11. That was 5 years ago! Read some of my early posts. My grammar and spelling was poision to the eyes and would probably piss off any grammar Nazi to the point of starting another Holocaust but for the illiterate. I also went on hiatus for months at a time.

I deleted all 112 posts and shot the old layout, forcing it into regeneration and now there's a new layout and design. Do you like it? I spent most of my morning on it!

I want to keep this blog going to keep a record of my memories. Perhaps not a detailed record, but a record in which contains a few paragraphs followed by a nice little picture. Hopefully you'll enjoy reading this! That would be such a great bonus!

My life chopped up into little bits. The highlights if you like. Here we go! Again!